Including the Dads

So now, yet another, organisation that wants to decide how the maternity services should be run, The Fatherhood Institute. Apparently we (midwives) don’t do enough to include them in antenatal and postnatal care, as we don’t ask questions if a father fails to show for the ante natal appointment and they feel that Fathers should be allowed to stay overnight with their partner and baby on postnatal wards. I’m sure that they are a lovely, caring organisation who are full of wonderful ideas but have they lost touch with reality, do they not read or listen to the media? At a time when the maternity services are struggling to cope with an increase in the birth rate, when units are closing and women are being turned away due to a shortage of beds we are expected to find somewhere for the partners to sleep, wash, pee and poo, I suppose we will have to feed them as well.
Why don’t the majority of fathers attend antenatal appointments? Could it be a question of finances I wonder? Pregnant women have a right to paid time off for all midwife/G.P/hospital appointments, and antenatal classes, their partners don’t.
I especially liked their accusation that “those (partners) that show no interest are not challenged” by us. Yep, I hold my hands up and admit to this, and the question I would ask is ‘what right have I got to challenge the way a couple manage their relationship/responsibilities?’ I can advise a partner, if I see him, that his baby’s mother needs support and help, but “challenge” him? Could be rather counter-productive and may result in me not being allowed back.All a bit tree-hugging really.

Here I am again. Off work at the moment having had 'average' surgery. I know, average, what's that supposed to mean? Well, my rationale for labelling it that way is that it wasn't minor, i.e not an ingrowing toe-nail or tonsils, and definitely not open-heart surgery which I would consider to be fairly major! Apparently I was in theatre for over 3 hours, luckily I have no recollection of what they got up to, all I do know is that it left me with a very sore tummy. Anyway, I shall be off work for at least 6 weeks, and since any physical activity is impossible at the moment, I am roving around my computer in an attempt to prevent myself from going totally mad.
All the grandchildren are growing rapidly. Jack, 4 in April, is at nursery 4 afternoons; Amy, 3 in May, is at nursery 2 mornings, Izzy, just 1, has mastered walking, looks like an angel but is a 'right little character'. Then there's the twins, Jamie and Louis, 6 months, still mirror images of each other and such hard work for daughter, life for her is non-stop, a 24 hour marathon every day.
I have an extremely important role in May, Mother of the Groom. Help. You would think that if you are a Grandmother you wouldn't be fazed by such a 'senior' part as that but I'm getting butterflies already, and there's still 3 months to go.